…from death into life…

Good luck! If you got the nads to do it, you get a gold star from the grave from me! If you want a real one, you gotta go to the trophy store and order your own, more shite for the landfill. Just a gold star from my dead-but-thriving-on heart to yours that’s still beating. Lucky you, I hope! (Sometimes while hearts are still beating Life isn’t fun at all. Oh dear).

There would be fallout, but if it was my last wish…the boo is on me, you’re just carryin’ out dear ol’ TopChattyPatty’s deathbed wish for her…

“Yup, she was one nut bar, alright, that TCP!” (No more than any other human standing there at that moment. We’re all F’d, just to varying degrees. That is an over 60 (over 40, but maybe hard to admit until over 60? 🤣) realization, says I).

Good, then!

‘Nut bar’!? No one would dispute it, guaranteed.

In Death as in Life! 

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to talk about. Play that song as the processional, too. Hahaha! Oh, maybe I’d better look at the lyrics a bit closer…Bah! I won’t care! But, I don’t want you dear ones having to work too hard at dealing with it all whilst I’m trying to change the world from the grave, something I have struggled to do in Life. HeHe.

The flower throwing might be an historical turning point in Graveside Decorum…I know everybody’s sad, but…look at it this way…’she’s/me’s’ LAUGHIN’ on the other side! Mebbe? HeHe.

Doesn’t that make you want to giggle lookin’ at that pile of TCP ashes? She’s gigglin’ out in the ‘sphere somewhere, trying to lighten all of you up in the midst of your grief. Cry, yes, we’re human, it’s what we feel, it’s what we do. But, let’s keep having fun, why not? Just ‘cuz I’m not in the room with you, and, anyway…who says I’m not?

I think we’d all be very sad on the other side to think nobody left behind was sad over our departure. We need to feel we’ll be remembered and missed and that we made some kind of impact on this weird place called Earth, hopefully good.

It’s the sign of our loss, being sad, but…shite happens and we gotta go one day. What lives must die, The Buddhists have that much, most do, but some are more open to being open about it. 

Of course, I’m having to be careful who I say this to and when, ‘cuz there’s always some serious raw human emotion happenin’ out there, expressed or not, you know…someone just died, someone is dying (aren’t we all?), or someone does not want to hear about it, never mind talk or JOKE about it. That’s their call, I get it. That’s what black ‘n morbid humour is all about. COPING! I wanna give all y’all LOTSA reasons to giggle after I’m gone, can’t y’all see that? The fact that I’m gone might in itself be enough to make some wanna dance and guffaw! 💃🏻🕺🏻

After all, why do you think I’m behaving like the nut bar here in my earthly form, anyway? Fun now, fun later, remember me with a smile. No matter how I go, I gotta go. We have to admit that to ourselves and to each other, I think. We all know it, we all deny it, avoid it, distract ourselves from it. It’s too much for our mere mortal beans to get our inadequate brainpower around. Send humans to outer space, sure, but understand and know about death? No. We don’t even want to talk about it, let alone get to know what we can about it…which isn’t much, agreed. It’s the response to it I’m talking about here, of course, not the scientific facts. The Body Farm has all those. What an aMAAAZing place that is! Whoosh!

We’re all on this same destination short mystery run and why not add as much ‘light’ and ‘lightness’ to it…does anybody else out there know more than me about why we’re here doing all this stuff? The minutiae of everyday Life? The up and down emotions and hurt and singing and laughter and painting rocks and marvelling at sunsets and…everything?

Speak up, oh wise ones. Really? And…your tangible evidence of that…’fact’… is…where? Right, I thought not. All stories to help us cope with the mystery and that’s fine with me, as long as you’re not hurting others with it or thinking you know more on this subject than somebody else. No, you do not. (You, the general everybody ‘you’, I mean, o’ course and ‘you’, the individual ‘you’, too). Go asked Mary P. She KNOWS it all, though, if you want hard facts. Sorry, Mary P., but…you don’t, you ‘know’ what you believe and what comforts you and that’s good for you. I’m happy for you and others who are comforted. We all do what’s good for us, hopefully while respecting all the others that are doing what’s ‘right and good’ for them, in a kind, compassionate, respectful not brick or insult throwing kinda way.)
This is great,  I am happy to finally find something worthwhile enough (in my own mind, at least) to blog about. A simple FB meme and away I go. Guess it wasn’t so simple after all, in my own mind, once again, as that’s the only place I can truly be. We all run around thinking we’re mind readers, that we know what others are feeling or thinking or how they’re going to react to this or that. No, we don’t. We barely know our own minds, and…generally, no we don’t.

“Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to blog about❣️” eeeeeheeeeheeee

Maybe start up your own Death Cafe, Any Day of The Year Just Because Remembering Ceremony (no hard and fast rituals, OK? Just WONDER, WONDER WONDER – music is nice, too, but egos can creep in there, be careful 😉). Maybe read or listen to Stephen Jenkinson, watch ‘Griefwalker’ on YouTube. I call it 70 minutes worth of ‘brain lightening’ and ’brain lightning’. Read his book Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul. attend his Nights of Grief and Mystery event, if the world tour is still happening. I think it’s closing soon, but, that won’t be the last we hear from him/them. Orphan Wisdom is around the globe now, nothing else like it out there, I’ll bet. I’m just an impacted listener, not part of the troupe. What he says about his own experiences with Life and Death and the response to same often resonate with my own thoughts, feelings and experiences. The privilege of sitting with a person transitioning out of this Life. The offer to be present, so they do not have to be alone at Their Time, unless that’s what they want, of course. The peace that can be the prevailing air in the room, as opposed to anxious or loud chattering family or friends who only respond as best as they can with what they have inside them. Let the dying go, give them the smooth sailing, hand held, if desired, send off and reassurance of better things to come from what they know at that moment. It’s OK. We’ll be OK. We’ll miss yourself in our midst, but you’re with us always, you’re a living part of us who have known you. We carry you with us every second of our own lives. You are us.

Maybe just open your heart and mind as wide and as WONDERING as you’re able to what we all feel about terminal illness, death and dying. Not the beliefs or religious dogmas, but what a human feels about their own ending in the community of humanity, the emotions that go with the thought of their own death, and that of loved ones, pets, even. 
Dare we actually sit for any length of time and contemplate, realize and voice, even just to ourselves, how we feel about all that? 

It can be spooky, sure, but it’s the reality of our existence. You don’t know what you think and feel, perhaps, until you try it. And feel it, let yourself feel what you’re feeling. Be by yourself, if the thought of feeling emotion openly with others is too tough, it is for many, I think. It can get easier, if you’re with others who are OK with it and who are as non-judgmental as humans can be. If you’re in the same boat, it’s a lot easier, I find.

~ What Lives Must Die and…ultimately…~


…yes that was and is a famous Latin quote. Perhaps this is your first experience with it. I have a small computer-printed sign taped to my computer that reminds me of this constantly, especially during my studies of not only forensic anthropology and The Archaeology of Death and Burial (an actual aMAAAZing textbook), but throughout my family history studies, as well. SO much is learned in that realm, not simply dates of birth and death, but who people were in their own short span, how they lived their lives and survived as long (or as short) as they did, as even they had to ‘go’ some day. and ‘go’ they did. But if they were part of your own history…they are part of you. They didn’t have to be blood relations, either, just impacting your story along the way. They have helped make you who you are, even generations back, it’s a cumulative thing. Bits of you came from each one of those people and their experiences and responses to Life. You carry them with you every second of your days. That’s not so as to blame them for ‘stuff’, of course, but just to help you get to know yourself and accept and forgive and love yourself, in spite of all the bits and to help each of us go forward and know we can alter the story in any given day for those to follow.

My father always said, “Ain’t none of us gettin’ outa here alive!’ He was a wonderful human being (I didn’t say ‘perfect’, but he was close! 😉) who survived imprisonment during a world war after being shot down out of the night sky and baling into the darkness, all at the adventurous young age of…just shy of 22.5 years. He, interestingly and thankfully, lived to see 93+. Go figure. I am blessed by that fact! However, for him it was an additional 70 years of carrying those memories and experiences with him, 14 months a P.O.W., 26 days on a forced march with fellow airmen being shot out of their boots beside him, eating raw potatoes out of the fields, hearing news of his captain jumping to his death off a bridge after arriving home ‘alive’.  Why he managed to cope and stay alive and not others? He was not unscathed by it, that was apparent every day, but…we know not the answers, so…as he did, dredge up your possibly long-suppressed sense of humour (easy for him with his Irish roots, my mother was pretty good at it, too, British on her side…oh, those Brits, a riotous wacky lot when they’re not all ceremonial and pompous and such) and COPE! Buck up, pull up your socks, give thanks for what is good and right in your life and get as over it as you are able, get ‘pro meds’ if needed, of course, they can be helpful sometimes…Carry On (remember that gang? Talk about wacky! 🤣). And ‘pro meds’ to me are not always the typical, but yet not self-medicating in an escaping, substance abuse fashion. I don’t think that helps anyone, jus’ sayin’. Big topic perhaps for another day?!

* I’m rambling now, of course, because contemplation in my monkey brain of one thing in this Life tends to lead to several million other things.*

I trust you will make a point, for your own sake, of course, (it will ripple out to others in your Life, guaranteed) to flat out Enjoy your ‘everything’s’ in Life. If not so much fun or not so ‘enjoyable’, grab hold of that lesson as a learning opportunity, sure as shucks (where’d that come from?😳) the opportunity will present itself when you’ll need that tool to be out of your Life Kit and applied. Gather as many of those Tools as you’re able, I say. The Kit is never too heavy to carry around and it’s always available and at the ready, just open it up, tap into the right tool, apply, and then…Carry On.

My father’s sister, a Catholic nun (get that stereotypical vision and inaccurate thoughts out of your head, she was a loving, caring, ‘with it’, loved by ALL hospital administrator, brilliant musician, Irish-rooted humourist, as well, remember the roots? and so much more, a mentor in how to live Life) demonstrated constantly to me throughout the 44 years I knew her, unabashed admiration, respect, WONDER and absolute JOY at all things, a huggable precocious child, Every child was huggable and respected, a piece of fun music played and sung together with friends or family, a tiny flower, the ocean…Ohmy, she LOVED the ocean and joined us in Hawaii, flying on her own with two broken ribs, ‘cuz it was her only opportunity in Life, at 80 years of age already, to dip her toes in that ocean and smell the flora and see and FEEL the tropical breezes, with loved ones alongside, of course. ‘Heaven’ itself. 

I’ll close this chatter now and get some sleep, always a good leveller of things ‘Life on Earth’. It helps to have it more than not, at least.

I send blessings to you and your every moment, waking and sleeping. It’s such a short run, let’s do our best to be grateful and make the most, positively make the most out of it, shall we, together, as we are together in all ‘this’.

Love and Gratitude are the only necessary bits, I think, for this Life to feel worthwhile, so says I. But, who am I? I’m me! That’s who…and it works for me. 💞

~Lighten my past and illuminate my present, so as to guide me in light for my future.~**

**Inspired by Dr. Trish Whynot (I so love her and her name, might change mine to it! Ha!) Rest well, all. ☮️ Stay cool. If you’re not cool, get cool, then stay that way. You get there by simply telling yourself, “I’m cool with this.” Then, you’re cool. 💝

p.s. I forgot to mention that I’m planning to be cremated, so there won’t be a casket off which to throw a bouquet, but I sure hope there are some nice flowers to throw at the next ‘departee’…oh, sorry, I sure hope no one throws the flowers at them, but to the crowd. I wonder if people are made aware that that’s what it’s about, would they try to catch them or just run like hell for the hills?! I’ve seen people do that at weddings so they don’t have to be the next ‘wedded one’…

“Oh, did I miss that bouquet/garter thing? Too bad, I guess I musta been in the can at that moment. I really had to go.”

Right…🙄 Chicken! 🐔

However, they are definitely right about one thing…it is true in this Life, when you gotta go, you gotta GO! 😉💃🏻🕺🏻🎭❤️

(And, I really DO have to go, not the final departure, I hope, but merely to sleep for the night. However, I wanted to qualify all of the above as I am not a ‘diagnosed terminally ill’ person, so I don’t profess to know at ALL how I would respond in that scenario. And, there is no circumstance where death happens that is by any means giggleable in my mind and heart. I take it all very seriously. In fact, this blog tonight is in response to serious health challenges of a loved one with a terminal diagnosis, occurring as we speak. This is MY way of responding to this Life Learning Lesson presented to me. But again, sleep would be helpful, too, I’m sure).

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